Like them first
An old friend recently said to me, “Your Google reviews are great.” I unleashed my signature howl (I’ve never learned to muzzle it.) and responded without pause, “My clients like me because I like them.”
I’d never thought about the client experience this way. I haven’t exactly codified my deliverables, as they say. I’ve trusted that if I know my stuff, I’m doing things right, but my involuntary response to the remark has been reverberating in my mind.
I’ve understood the symbiotic relationship of they-like-me-because-I-like-them since I started teaching 30+ ago, and it’s never been hard to put the arrangement to good use. I love kids. All kinds of kids. Kids are hilarious and ridiculous and wickedly perceptive. I love how my husband, sisters, and friends — all teachers — say to me: “Oh, Maureen, you’d love this kid I have in class.” They know, and I know, I’d love that kid too.
Why am I telling you this? Because liking kids is the first step in providing college application help that works. It’s the foundation of effective college counseling and college essay advising.
No phonies allowed
Being real is the second rule. Remember, there’s a reason teenagers love The Catcher in the Rye. Like Holden Caufield, teenagers spot a phony a mile away. You did too when you were in high school. You knew which adults were the real deal. You knew which ones you could trust. Your powers of observation were keen. When you tap into adolescent-you, you still spot the phonies.
I appreciate Caufield’s disdain for phonies as well as his broody angst, and I really, really appreciate his desire to protect children. I want to as well. I want to catch those kids running toward the cliff. As Caufield says, “I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going, I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That’s all I’d do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it’s crazy, but that’s the only thing I’d really like to be.”
That’s the only thing I’d really like to be too.
Stay nimble
Right now I’m reading a business book. I do this periodically, even though business theory shows me my shortcomings in technicolor. This particular guru has me thinking about ways successful businesses are systematized. I see the wisdom, and I do have processes in place, but with every chapter, I’m chuckling more at myself. I’m disciplined but not rigid, not even close, and this flexibility just might be the secret sauce to college counseling. I get it — kids need rules; they like structure. But, and it’s a big but, they don’t like rigidity. I provide students with a college application planning calendar, but I’m never, and I mean never, going to make them feel lousy if they swerve from the schedule.
I swerve too.
Speaking their language
I don’t mean jargon. I live with teenagers, and I still don’t understand their expressions. Plus, they think adults trying to sound like teenagers are suspect. What I mean are things like texting. Being in their pockets. At Chipotle. Late at night. After practice. During free periods. Wherever. Whenever. I work around kids’ lives because they are busy. Way busier than we were. I listen to what they say and what they don’t say. I use emojis, although they think mine are corny; and because kids think punctuation in texts is aggressive, I’ve even backed off here.
Voice, voice, voice
This is my equivalent of location, location, location. Writing college applications, especially writing college essays, is all about voice. Helping students write like they sound, but even better, that’s the magic. Voice, voice, voice. Tell them it matters. Tell them we want to hear it. Tell them they’re not writing FRQs or DBQs or LEQs or NRBQs (Someone’s bound to get that reference.). College applicants are writing stories. Their stories. And the only way to make those stories sing is to use their own wonderful, original voice. If someone else could write the same essay, it’s not working. If it sounds like a bot, then it’s really not working. College application help that works is about moving the writer out of the classroom and into a room of one’s own. In that room, the voice erupts.
Perspective
In this post, I’ve used unclear pronouns and sentence fragments. I’ve started sentences with “But” (Yes, you can.), ended sentences with prepositions (Yes, you can.), used clichès (Questionable, I know.), and probably made a subject-verb agreement error. No normal person cares. I’m not normal, so I notice these things. I’ve spent decades teaching young writers the glory of the em dash and the difference between “affect” and “effect,” but do I really think college admissions officers are worried about this stuff? Nah, not really. I still show writers how to fix their mistakes because flawless writing increases readability and prepares the student for college-level writing, but I keep the importance of grammar and usage in perspective.
College application help that works is all about perspective.
College application help that works
College application help that works is honest, intuitive, personalized. It says to the applicant you’re interesting, you’re worthy, you matter. I remind my clients that I don’t care about the schools. The schools have their agendas, their bottom lines, their financial goals. I care about kids. That’s college application help that works. When we help these bright, young people write their hearts out (yep, a clichè), then we’re providing college application help that works.
The truth is “if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going, I have to come out from somewhere and catch them.” I have to. That’s my moral imperative. I’m in the business of protecting kids. And if you’re wondering what that has to do with college application help or college essay advising, just ask a high school senior why they sometimes feel insecure. I guarantee those feelings are knotted up in the college application process. They need protection, and if I had my way “that’s all I’d do all day.”
photo credit @Emile Perron
Comments